Perhaps is this New Moon hitting my 7th house of the other, or Mercury turning retrograde my 8th house of other people’s business.
I guess this period is being very reflective for me. I’ve spent some time thinking about bad choices vs good choices in my life, some I think I’ve made some mistakes while others I am still grateful untill today. Yesterday night, I had this headache, not a normal one! it was increasing untill it get to the exact New Moon at 7th degrees Leo, however I have nothing at 7th degrees in my chart. I had to take medicine, and I simple hate taking it! I always prefer to heal naturally with time and with natural resources… and usually don’t have headaches. In anatomy Astrology, Aries rules the head, the New moon in Leo (heart) simple trine Uranus in Aries (which is transiting my 3rd house of lower mind thinking).
Problems arise for me when things are not meeting my own needs and I realize other’s are not being too, my thinking goes deep and deep untill I myself have no more ideas for what have caused such a disaster of thoughts… Naturally, I have Mercury in Leo in the 8th house of secrets and intense waves from the dark, I am used to feel anxious when things go bad, even when they are good, I tend to be too cautious for not realizing the fact that I can indeed be a happy person.
While in EUA, I have been under constant 12th house intense activities, I dreamed about a friend from Brazil I didn’t talk for months, the next day the friend who introduced him to me, called me. This is just one of the dreams that had relations to my everyday reality.
I guess this is too an effect that Mercury turning retrograde, or my instinctual ability to know before it is clear, Mars in entering Cancer this week, my natural Mars. I hope my drive will get better… I really need a forward button in my life now.
Sorry for the melancholy, but I feel alone and empty these days, for things as they are, but I know everything has a reason, and I will let it flow as nowadays Neptune in Pisces has a point in that! (Talking about Neptune in Pisces, both are ‘let if flow’ contact, yesterday at a movie, before the movie started someone in the audience sounded ‘shhhh’ for everybody to be quiet, then i heard ‘shh’ from the other side, then ‘shh’ from the other, and so one… when we realized almost everybody was doing ‘shh’… the mass there got its flow! then the first image on-screen was the ocean! – Just a simple example).
Despite of the emotions going high for me here, I feel like the waters have its own healing, I am doing a wicca preparation since last week, and its working better than I though. I bought two books of astrology, one is for the soul (North Nodes), that actually was on time… Taurus North Node is much wider than I tought of being tricking myself for closing my eyes for the happiness that has found a way to surprise me. I cannot wait for others approval anymore, I am the one who has the key from heaven. I intend to buy some more books from Liz Greene (where I didn’t find any in popular book stores where I am now), I brought with myself one book of astrology (Pluto the evolutionary journey of the soul VL1 by Jeff Green) to read while in airports and waiting moments, but I found it to be too intense book to read while in crowds so I put it aside this time.
Me against the world.
I am going back to Brazil tomorrow, but I will be in town only on Wednesday to see my loved ones, where I will give myself a restart here and there and in my life in general. the blog is going to increase its posts, so as my professional life as manager, artist and astrologer.
Next year I am turning 27 years old, Amy Winehouse has just an unfortunate death at her 27′s, a period of the person’s life where we are having our Moon return and where Saturn return starts making its presence in our composite chart. My Saturn is in Scorpio, conjunction by sign my South Node and Pluto in Scorpio, the configuration is shown as someone intense of emotions, a person not too close to known in their most intimacy moments, however once someone enters their intimate door, the only key to lock it up, is by giving up all the people who has caused them pain, and it is likely not easy for Scorpio! So they tell me…
Still, I am very grateful for my life and I will always be where life give me the juice for my tree to live in harmony within myself. I will hug a tree so hard that the tree itself will feel my presence from the ground.
Now I know much of things that comes from the heart… and not from the mind!
Let it be a letter for healing negative emotions.